Balor quietly tends to his glasshouse garden, checking on Casper from time to time as he steps around him. Casper, for his part, is dozing fast with the blanket pulled over his head to keep the light of day at bay. Every now and again, he’ll twitch and stir, seeking a more comfortable position before nodding off again. The sun climbs to its zenith, the glasshouse is nice and warm, and Casper shows no signs of getting up anytime soon. Balor has finished for the day and is hovering over him.
“Casper.”
Casper mumbles and rolls over.
“Casper.”
“‘M up, ‘m up. Quit your hollerin’…”
“Are you quite sure you are awake at this time, Casper?” Balor asks loudly.
Only now does it dawns on Casper that it's not Sister Temperance who's come to wake him up this morning and that he isn't at St. Whichever-It-Was. He digs his head out from under the blanket, eyes wild, and sees Balor, tall as a mountain over him. “I wasn't sleepin’!” He yelps.
“I had not claimed that you were asleep.”
“Yeah, well, you didn't say it, but you meant it. An’ I wasn't sleepin’. I wasn't. I was just… closin’ my eyes for a bit.”
“Of course you weren't.” Balor chuckles and Casper sees the hint of a smirk making its way across his face.
“Anyways! You, uhh… You gonna drag me off to the ol’ drunk now?” Please say no. (Don't kid yourself.)
“If I were, I would not have let you be and would have woken you earlier in the day.”
“I wasn't asleep.”
“As you say, Casper.” He's still smirking.
Casper huffs. And people accuse him of being cheeky. “So, what happened? Did the coot call the search off?”
Balor's smile falters and he reverts back to his default inscrutability. “Something along those lines… I dare say you might try to address your uncle with a bit more respect, if only to get into the habit. I realize he is not particularly desirable as a family member, but he is your uncle.”
Casper cocks his head. “You sure 'bout that?”
“I… Ah… For what other reason would you be here if not that?”
Casper slumps and shrugs. “Beats me. All I know is the damn toffs come in, sayin’ the found me an uncle I never heard of out in the sticks an’ the next thing I know, I'm on the first train to Nowheresville the next mornin’.” He sighs. “What I really don't get is how the hell did they know I have an uncle somewhere if even I don't know my own mum.”
Balor nods slowly, pensively. “It does raise several questions, yes… Do you mean to say, then, that Myr might well be a perfect stranger and that you could very well be here by mistake?”
“Dunno. Probably. Don't figger it matters either way; you seen how he went for my throat that one night. He'd’ve killed me if you didn't step in, so… Uh. Yeah.” Casper clears his throat and looks away. He absentmindedly traces the ring of yellow bruises around his neck. “... Thanks.” The word's no louder than a sigh.
Balor takes a deep breath and sits down on the edge of a planter, next to Casper who watches him from the corner of his eye. The big guy looks like he's got a lot on his mind. Casper gives him his space.
“Umm… Which of these are eatible again?” Casper points at tender shoots peeking out of the earth bed.
“Hmm? Oh. Ah, the dark green ones are espinac, which is what you were eating yesterday. And Casper? Please take only a few leaves from each plant at a time. They are not full grown yet and so will grow more leaves if you let them.”
“M'kay… There any plants here that would turn me into a frog if they got ate?”
Balor doesn't say anything, his expression saying it all for him: one eyebrow raised and practically screaming “what in blazes are you on about?”. Seeing that Casper is perfectly serious, he answers. “No. I know of a few potions that are able to do so, but the plants by themselves cannot. Wherever did you get such a notion, Casper?”
“I dunno. Just thinkin’, is all. No real reason for it. Uh. Yeah.” Casper looks away. In hindsight, it was a laughable idea. No idea how he came up with it in the first place. “I'm gonna grab some espinik now.”
“Espinac.”
“Whichever.” Casper leaves his blanket on the floor and moseys over to the espinac to pluck a few leaves for breakfast come lunch.
Balor coolly watches him. “I take it you’ve changed your mind about the taste.”
“No. ‘S still nasty, ‘m just hungry,” Casper grumbles around a mouthful. It gals him, but Balor was right. He’ll eat just about anything, green, burnt, or outright nasty.
Balor hums in acknowledgement, still not here, not really, not where it counts. Casper mentally shrugs. Well, whatever. The big guy can do as he likes, it’s not his problem. He goes back to munching on the… plant stuff. Whatever you call it, it gets stuck in his teeth real easy. He picks at it with the edge of a fingernail. Some of it’s gotten dislodged, but it feels like there’s more stuck there.
“Do you want to be here, Casper?”
Casper freezes mid-pick. “Eh?”
“Do you want to be here? At the manor? In Glenholm generally?”
Casper sits down and lowers his hand onto his lap. He sucks at his teeth one more time and runs his tongue over them (there’s still green caught in there somewhere) as he considers the question at length. “I dunno. I mean… nobody ever asked.” He responds, but a response isn’t the same as an answer, now is it? Why should anyone ever have an answer for a question that was never asked? “I dunno.” And Casper goes very, very quiet.
Balor studies him for a beat. He moves to where Casper is and sits by him, not immediately beside him, but still near, still maintaining that cautious distance. “Casper, as far as can be seen, there is no reason for you to remain here if you do not wish to. You could leave. You could go wherever you want to, the world is within your reach. You certainly do not have to live in the house with Myr; it would not be fair to have you live in such conditions. I’ve no doubt that you would receive warmer welcomes and be better cared for anywhere else.”
Casper stares at Balor in growing horror as he takes in what’s being said. “You shippin’ me off now too? You sendin’ me away because-” (you hate me so much.) He trails off into a whine. Breath in. Breath out. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
“Oh… Oh, Casper, do not cry, come now.” Balor slowly makes his way toward him. He makes no sudden movements. He hesitates before putting a light hand on the boy’s shoulder.
The boy shies away from the touch. “I’m not crying!” His voice is raw, his face streaking wet. “‘M not!”
“I… As you say, Casper.” Balor tries again, another gentle touch. The boy makes to wrench his hand off (stop acting like you care!) and what does Balor do? He takes his hand and holds it.
“You bastard…”
“I know, Casper, I know.” He gives his hand a reassuring pat and the boy cries for real. “I know.”
“Why? You save me, you give me a- a name, one they don’t give to d-dead people, a-an’ you g-give me stuff to eat, an’-” The boy sniffs. “Why? What do you want? Why’re you tryna get rid of me?” I thought you liked me… (He’s thought a lot of things. He was wrong.)
“Casper, I am not trying to do anything. I am asking you if you would not be happier elsewhere. I am not doing anything without asking you first.” He’s still holding his hand and goddamnit the boy- Casper lets him, maybe he even squeezes back.
“I don’t get it. I don’t get you at all,” Casper mutters despondently.
“I know. I know.”
It takes several minutes for Casper to stop crying. Balor waits on him, patiently speaking reassuring words in soothing tones. At the end of it all, Casper's left feeling wrung out and empty.
“Whatever you do, whatever you choose to do, Casper, it is your choice. You have a choice and it is of your choosing… Do you understand Casper?”
He sniffs and nods. “...Do I have to go?” His eyes are shiny bright and full of doubt, full of hope.
“Not if you do not want to, but…” Balor sighs. “I will do what I can to keep you safe and roofed and fed, but you will never have an easy life here. You may well be better off elsewhere. But this is not my choice to make. The decision is yours and yours alone and know that, whatever it is you decide, even if what you choose is to leave Glenholm and go far, far away from this place, I will help you as far as I can. But first, you must decide, Casper, you must tell me what it is that you want.”
Casper wavers between looking at their joined hands and meeting Balor’s gaze. “Well… Why can’t Myr go away instead?”
Balor chokes a bit. “I am afraid that it is not so simple.”
“Why not? Why do you let him boss you around when you got magics an’ stuff? You’re the Glenholm witch man for fuck’s sake! If you can turn shit to gold, you can do anything, so… Why?”
“Ah… Casper, please mind your language.”
“Don’t change subject.”
Balor harrumphs. “It is a complicated matter and, truth be told, I do not how to begin to explain.”
“Then… How 'bout you leave an’ we both ditch the drunk.”
“That will not work either. I am sorry to say that I am bound to Glenholm and am consequently unable to leave the environs for the foreseeable future. Should you leave, Casper, I shall not be able to follow.”
“But I dunno where to go. I don't even know anyone one out there. How do I know they're safe?”
“Casper, I think you do not give yourself the credit you deserve. You have been largely caring for yourself during your stay here, with little to do on my part until recently and I suspect that you have done much the same before your arrival.”
Casper shrugs off the praise. “Yeah, well, just 'cause I can do it don't mean it's easy and it's way harder when you dunno where the good pickin’s are.”
“I do not doubt that it has not been easy for you and I do not argue otherwise. Nonetheless, you have shown that you are capable of surviving by yourself, though it may not be the most preferable option.”
Casper tuts. He can't say anything against that. “That still don't change the facts. It's not nice here, but I don't got nowhere else to go at the end of the day an’ I'm damn sure people'll raise a stink if I go holin’ up in their stables or whatever.”
“I understand, Casper. Remember that this is not an eviction. Nobody is saying you must leave. I am simply asking you to consider where you would be happiest, if it be here, elsewhere in Glenholm, or somewhere else altogether.”
“... Do I have to go?”
“Not at this moment, no. Not unless you want to. If the decision was left to me, Casper, I would not force you to do anything you did not want to… Do you understand, Casper?”
“Yeah, I-I think so.” Everything Balor's said so far isn't anything he hadn't already thought of on some level. Hell, he’s even made plans on leaving using Alicia to scope around for him. He didn’t expect Balor of all people to give him an ultimatum; that’s not what was happening, though that’s what it felt like at the time. He’s off balance and increasingly mortified by the way he came apart at the seams. “Uh… C-can you give me some time? To think on it, I mean.”
“But of course.” Balor gives his hand one last squeeze before letting go. “Would you like to have some time to yourself?” Casper nods numbly and watches Balor get up. “Very well. Ah. I shall see if I cannot catch another partridge for your supper tonight. Would you like that, Casper?”
“Yeah… Thanks.” He gives Balor a weak smile as the big guy gives him one last glance before heading out the door, leaving him alone. He shuffles to where he left his blanket. It’s dusty from being on the floor all morning and the better part of last night, but that’s okay. Casper isn’t in much better shape himself. He pulls it tight around his shoulders and over his head and sits on the floor, knees curled up underneath his chin. He sits and he waits and he thinks “What now?”.
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